The Ultimate Guide on How to Become an Ecosexual

-You hafta be social and environmentally conscious;

You hafta protect the animals: whales, chickens, cows, monkeys, elephants, don’t eat and try to keep people from eating them;

You hafta be an ethical-eater crap and avoid all kinds of meat and animal related food such as dairy, and then you start to avoid wearing and buying organic items. So then you can consider yourself a hardcore die-hard vegan;

You hafta drive a hybrid car, if you can afford one;

You hafta exchange tofu recipes and look for “sexy-conservationists” people on the internet;

You hafta avoid going to circus, cuz they have animals. Or go there just to protest.
And of course, you have to protest. Annoy the society against everything. These things that keep you awake all night long such as cows and chickens being brutally murdered in millions everyday;

You have to avoid drugs and sympathize with yoga and meditation baloney;

You hafta to recycle stuff;

You hafta be that alternative kind of person, with cool hair, cool trainers, yada-yada;

You hafta be cool, cool and smug;

You hafta be a nice person with everybody;

You hafta wear unusual kinds of piercing in unexpected places, such as broader-piercing;

You hafta smell your own farts cause you’re better than everyone else and you think they actually smell kinda good;

You hafta think about living in a cave for some years, or at least you should;

You hafta belong to the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement, a group of people dedicated to phasing out the human race in the interest of the health of the Earth.

This hilarious piece was written by the great Luam Gabriel, a writing club member, conversation pal and great duderino.